3 Damaging Signs of Misplaced Identity

Let’s look at the anointing of Israel’s first king, Saul. The story begins when Saul and his servant have to look for his father’s donkeys (1 Samuel 9:3). After days of searching, Saul’s servant suggested that they go see Samuel, who was a prophet, for advice on where to look (v. 6). Unbeknownst to them, Samuel already knew that Saul was coming. (He even had a feast prepared!) The Lord told Samuel that He had chosen Saul to become king. 

After Samuel explains to Saul that the Lord has chosen him to become king, Saul responds, “I am only a Benjaminite, from the least of the tribes of Israel, and my family is the humblest of all the families of the tribe of Benjamin. Why then have you spoken to me in this way?” (v.21).  In fact, when Saul was pronounced king of Israel in front of the people, he hid (10:21). Saul’s reasons for his low self esteem were understandable. He was from the smallest tribe. (You can find their history in Judges 19-20.) Even a few chapters later (1 Samuel 10) when God used Saul to prophesy, there were men that doubted that Saul could be used. Saul chose to believe outside voices about his identity rather than God’s. 

However, about a month into his reign, Saul defeated the Ammonites and finally earned admiration from the people in his kingdom. Of course, God gave him this victory, but instead of recognizing this victory came because he was God’s chosen king, he became consumed with maintaining this identity as a military leader. In other words, Saul saw his identity as a successful military leader and king, instead of seeing himself as God’s child being used as a successful military leader and king. We will define identity simply as one’s sense of self. Who a person believes they are dictates how they carry themselves and make decisions amongst other things. We can look at Saul to see some of the signs of misplaced identity. 

1. Perfectionism

Because Saul was consumed with his identity as military leader and king, he felt he could not fail and damage it. This caused Saul to make impulsive decisions without the Lord's guidance. During war with the Philistines, “He placed his men under oath saying, ‘Let a curse fall on anyone who eats before evening’” (14:24). In the middle of a whole battle!! After they chased and killed the Philistines all day, they were so hungry because of the oath, when they finally could eat, his men ate meat that contained blood, which was a sin against God. And finally, his impulsive decision endangered his son, Johnathan. (He had not heard the oath and ate some honey to refresh himself during battle). But instead of admitting that it had been a foolish oath, he was willing to kill Johnathan to prove himself a strong military leader! Thankfully, the people intervened on Johnathan’s behalf and spared his life. 

2. People Pleasing

Saul continued to be a successful military leader during his reign. 1 Samuel says that Saul “fought against his enemies in every direction…and wherever he turned, he was victorious” (1 Samuel 14:47). One of the nations Saul defeated was the nation Amalek. Saul was commanded to completely destroy the nation– “men, women, children, babies, cattle, sheep, goats, camels, and donkeys” (15:3). The Lord commanded this to ensure the safety of the Israelites, both physically and spiritually. But Saul captured the Amalekite king (instead of killing him) and kept the best animals. After this disobedience, the Lord was saddened Saul was even chosen to be king. Because of his disobedience, the Amalekites continued to war with the Israelites. (You know Haman from the story of Esther? Amalekite.) When Samuel confronted Saul about his disobedience, he said he was “afraid of the people and did what they demanded” (15:24). 

3. Comparison & Jealousy

In chapter 16, we are introduced to David. Most of us are familiar with the story of David and Goliath. Briefly, Goliath was a Philistine giant that put fear into the hearts of all the Israelite warriors. Goliath teased the Israelite army for forty days. Until David saw him. After David defeated Goliath, the Israelite army returned from battle singing “‘ Saul has killed his thousands, and David his ten thousands!’” This angered Saul and he became jealous. So much so, that he tried to kill David. (Even though before he defeated Goliath, Saul loved David very much.)

Sis,

Do any of these sound familiar? Have you misplaced your identity in a career? A sorority or club? A certain role in your family? In being a woman? In your race/ethnicity? A zodiac sign?

When you place your identity outside of Christ, you are not being the person God created you to be. We as women wear so many hats, but none should take precedence over being God's child. When we start relying on our own strength in our own identity, we stress over being perfect. Not wanting to fail or seem like we aren't a leader, a good teacher, a good sister, you fill in the blank. As a child of God, we are dependent on God because we know we are weak and imperfect. There is nothing we can do to earn his grace, it is simply given (Ephesians 2:8). We are not concerned about being different because who we are is validated by Christ. There is no need for jealousy or comparison because we know as God's child we have everything we need to complete the purpose He has given us (Ephesians 2:10).

Where do you find your identity? You are His daughter. He has given you gifts, experiences, passions, etc. But they are to glorify Him, not for you to find your identity in. Being His daughter should be the number one role in your life. I encourage you to place your other roles second. It is so freeing!